John R. Fischer

Earlier in the month, I was on the subway, riding a Northbound F train to work one morning when a fight broke out right next to me. That part probably doesn’t surprise anyone from New York City. I always say you can’t call yourself a true New Yorker until you’ve seen two people exchange heated words on the subway. So a fight breaking out isn’t front page news in the city that never sleeps.

But what may surprise people – and it still surprises me – is when someone intervenes, which is just what I did in this fight. Normally, people ignore a brawl when it breaks out and go about their business, and understandably why. Getting involved in a fight anywhere can be dangerous and scary. Anything can happen, and the last thing you want is to wind up being a part of it or at the very least getting hit in the face.

But for some reason, I couldn’t just stand around and do nothing. I still don’t know exactly what it is that made me get involved, but let me start from the beginning.

I was sitting next to a woman (we’ll call her Gina to make it simpler to understand) on the train with a narrow gap of space between us. Another woman (who we’ll call Janice) walks on and proceeds toward us. But rather than ask if we could move over a little, which I would have gladly done, Janice plops right down into the gap and manspreads, with her knees pushing each of us aside. I looked up at her to say, “Excuse me,” only to stop short when I saw the grin on her face. I knew immediately that Janice knew what she did was wrong and didn’t care. She was looking to piss us off and maybe even start a fight.

I decided it wasn’t worth it and to just say nothing, as it wasn’t going to change anything. The last thing I need is to waste my time and energy arguing with someone who doesn’t care. She’s grown, and I’m not her parent. If she wants to be a jerk, fine. It makes her look bad in the end as well as childish and pathetic.

Gina on the other hand was not having it. She was shocked and disgusted by what Janice did to us, rightfully so. But rather than weigh if it was worth the risk, Gina got up and hit Janice on the head, pushing her baseball cap below her eyes, setting off Janice and the chain of events that followed.

Janice grabbed Gina’s dress in retalitation, with Gina following suit and both women tugging at one another’s dresses and hitting each other for the next 30 seconds. The tugging then transferred to Gina’s bag, with Janice grabbing and holding on to it, while Gina yelled, “let go you piece of s***,.

I had stood up when the fight broke out and for the first few seconds, stood there with my eyes glued to these women along with everyone else in the car. Suddenly, after the initial shock, I regained my sense of where I was and without thinking, I walked and spread my arms between them and said, “Just walk away, ladies. Just walk away.” Janice let go of Gina’s bag and after an icy glare, Gina walked off the train, which thankfully had just pulled into the next stop.

Now, I know I said we’re used to seeing fights in New York, but it still shakes us up. We try to come off as tough, but like anyone else, we fret about if the fight will spread, if someone accidentally misses their target and hits us instead, if the cops are going to be called and of course, if we’re going to be late for work or another important appointment (time is money after all).

The last few years have become especially tense on the subway due to the rise in incidents. It was only three years ago that a man climbed aboard a Northbound N train and set off two smoke grenades before firing 33 shots into the vapor, reported CNN. While no one died, 29 people were injured in that incident. So even something like a brawl between two people is cause for concern, as you never know if the situation will escalate to bodily harm.

Thankfully this was not the case here. Gina left and Janice fixed her hat and proceeded to scroll through her phone. I walked over and sat down on the opposite side of the car, not wanting to be anywhere near Janice. Both women were wrong. Janice shouldn’t have been a manspreading jerk, while Gina should have kept her hands to herself and just walked away.

But was I wrong? On the one hand, you could say that I did the brave thing by de-escalating and breaking up the fight. Some might say that what I did was not right or wrong. Others could argue that I endangered myself by getting involved and potentially others on the subway. I’ve weighed all of these scenarios in my head, and while I’m still not 100 percent sure, I think what I did encompasses characteristics from the first and second different schools of thought here. What I did was brave and noble, looking to help de-escalate a situation for the safety of everyone aboard that train.

At the same time, however, while my intentions may have been good, there was a risk involved for me as well as potentially the other bystanders. The scenario could have been completely different with one or both women pulling me into the fight, which would have made it bigger and more unsafe to those around us. Someone may have been pushed into a bystander who could have been seriously injured. Or maybe another person would have tried to follow my lead and get involved. Then again, if I hadn’t intervened, maybe the fight would have escalated past where it went.

I’m not sure if what I did was mostly courageous or absolutely stupid. Maybe a bit of both. Two things can be true, after all. Still, while I’m proud of myself for helping de-escalate the situation, if I were to do it again, I would probably walk to the other side of the car. I can’t predict what can enfold in a situation like that but know that unless you’re protecting someone like a child or a person in a vulnerable position, it’s best to let the two people work it out for themselves.

If you find yourself in the same situation as I was, I would recommend getting as far away from the two fighting parties as possible, because based on this experience, I conclude that it’s better to air on the side of caution. It’s not worth it to put yourself and potentially those around you at risk of physical injury, which can then lead to criminal and legal proceedings that could be directed at you, even if you were trying to stop the altercation.

I suppose you could say it was sheer dumb luck that spared me from getting hurt. Whether or was it not, I am thankful that the situation was resolved, no one was hurt, and that I am sharing this with you, as I hope my experience and lessons I’ve drawn from it will help others better navigate such risky situations when they occur. I hope that you do not find yourself in such a scenario…and that I don’t find myself in one again.